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Resolving Stress and Conflict Within the Home


Dear Dr. Usher, 

My spouse and I are always fighting. My home is full of stress. My home is so stressful that you can feel it when you walk in through the front door. How do I bring peace into my home? How do I restore peace between me and my spouse?


The first step you should take in order to resolve stress within the home is to pray.  Prayer is the foundation for God to do anything in a person’s life.  Without prayer, nothing shall be possible.  In addition, when a person prays, it is showing a selfless act of submission to the fact that the individual is powerless, and void of understanding, thus creating an attitude of humility.  This humility is what actually causes God to move favorably into a situation.  Without humility, God views all actions as pride.  God hates pride.

The reason why most homes are full of strife is because there is pride between the two individuals. Pride is always the cause of strife within the home.  That is why prayer must be the primary focus.  Prayer eliminates pride.

Once pride is out of the way, normally most homes return to civility, because all individuals are willing to listen and talk.  Once individuals can hear, and be heard, a general peace comes about the home, and what was once a stressful environment, now becomes a peaceful haven of rest.

Now, I will need to add something important to this topic as it relates to the wife…Even though we are all equal in the eyes of God, the Bible does make note that when the woman of the house is upset,  things tend to get very bad for the man of the house.  The Bible alludes to this when it states, “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”  (Proverbs 21:9)  This is a clear indication that strife within the home is as common as life itself.  It is also important to know that there will never be a home without strife.  What is important is that individuals learn how to resolve strife swiftly.


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